The Foundations of the Faith

Studies in Genesis 1-11

Sermon Number Eleven: The Doctrine of Marriage (part 1)

Jim Bordwine, Th.D.

Introduction

What do you think of when you hear the term “marriage”? Most people probably think of a ceremony. Normally, we do not think first of the institution of marriage—what constitutes a marriage or what a marriage is designed to accomplish. In our continuing study of the early chapters of Genesis, we come now to the doctrine of marriage. This doctrine is presented within the context of Adam’s creation and his brief existence as the only human being in the universe. What is taught in connection with this subject introduces us to one of the most extensively developed doctrines in the whole Bible.

Before I read the text from Gen. 2, I want to explain how I am using the term “marriage” in this sermon. I am using “marriage” to cover everything which is taught in this early portion of Scripture relative to males and females. It is obvious, as we will see, that God created Adam and Eve in the context of a mutual correspondence. That is, God did not create Adam to function apart from Eve nor did He create Eve to function apart from Adam. Therefore, as far as a basic pattern is concerned, God gives us a model for male-female associations; He shows us the fundamental level on which men and women relate to one another.

In this section of the series, I plan to examine the perspective which we are to have on male-female relationships as this perspective is illustrated in the story of Adam and Eve. As with previous subjects, these few verses do not tell us everything there is to know about men and women, the institution of marriage or the family. However, again as with previous topics, we can learn the essential elements which govern male-female relationships, especially as these relate to calling and family.

As I have in past sermons in this series, I will be following a simple, three-part outline: The presentation of the doctrine, the development of the doctrine and the application of the doctrine. Today, I plan only to get through point number one, which is the presentation of this doctrine in Gen. 2, and then offer a few words of application. Later, we will see how the institution of marriage develops in further revelation.

1. The Presentation of the Doctrine

Gen. 2:18 Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” 19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. 20 And the man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. 21 So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh at that place. 22 And the LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. 23 And the man said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” 24 For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.

This passage comes, of course, after we learn of man’s creation, which appears first in 1:26 ff. and is elaborated upon in 2:7, 8. Based upon what has been said up to this point, we know that God determined to create man, male and female, and we know that an assignment was given to them. They were to subdue and rule over God’s creation. We also know something about how God created Adam—He formed man “of the dust from the ground.” (2:7) So, the material presented thus far provides the perspective which Adam and Eve were to have on their purposes relative to the rest of creation and to God. Our present passage provides something else, something which is vital to the right pursuit of the task given to Adam and Eve. In 2:18-25, we find the perspective which Adam and Eve were to have toward each other. This passage, then, is of fundamental importance because it explains who Adam was and who Eve was in that relationship in which they would set out to subdue the earth.

What exactly do we learn from 2:18-25? I will identify six facts which appear in these verses. First, notice God’s description of Adam’s condition: “It is not good for the man to be alone...” (v. 18) This assessment comes from the Creator and it is the basis for what we read about in these verses. God’s statement fits nicely with what is said in 1:31: “And God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good.” That declaration comes at the conclusion of the six days of creation. It tells us that all of God’s creation was what He intended; this includes, of course, the existence of Adam and Eve, the first man and first woman. In Gen. 1, their creation is recorded as accomplished before God makes His final inspection, as it were.

Our current passage is giving us some information about what happened during that time when Adam and Eve were created. Since God says that everything was “very good” after the first man and woman were created, it should not surprise us to hear God say that the state of things was not acceptable prior to the creation of Eve. This is, in essence, what we read in 2:18. Adam was by himself and God pronounced that state “not good.” Of all the observations that could be made at this point, let me say simply that Adam, as created by God, was designed to be a community-oriented being; that is, God did not make the first man to live in isolation, nor did he design the first man to pursue the task of subduing the creation by himself. At least this much is quite obvious from God’s statement that, “It is not good for the man to be alone.”

When I say “community-oriented,” I mean that Adam was created to exist in a relationship. Based solely upon that statement, “It is not good for the man to be alone,” we can conclude this much. The next phrase, “I will make him a helper suitable for him,” adds to our understanding of what God intended for Adam. This is the second fact to be gleaned from these verses; this is God’s response to Adam’s condition.

Two words need comment. “Helper” (`ezer) is a term used throughout the Old Testament. It means just what you would expect: “one who helps.” The word is used of men and of God; it refers to one who lends assistance or, particularly in God’s case, One who shows unmerited favor (cf. Psa. 54:6). We need to understand one important aspect of this term: The word “helper” in no way implies intrinsic inferiority. Obviously, if it did, this word could never be used to describe Jehovah. I emphasize this point to counter a criticism that is often made of those who believe in a division of function within a marriage or even between males and females, in general. A distinction in function or responsibility can exist without one party being viewed as inherently lower than the other. One can be a “helper” without being something “less” than the one receiving the assistance. When God speaks of a “helper” for Adam, therefore, He is not speaking of a second being who would be somehow inferior to Adam in terms of design or worth.

This notion finds further support in the second of the two words I want to mention, which is the word translated “suitable” (keneghdo). The idea here is that of one thing corresponding to or being the counterpart of another thing. God states that He will make a helper which harmonizes with Adam. This does not mean that they will be exactly the same; in fact, the term implies that they will different, yet will “fit” together as if they were made for each other, which they were, of course!

The Creator does not immediately make this companion for Adam, however. In vv. 19 and 20, we read that God made the beasts and birds and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. Adam had the responsibility of examining these creatures and naming them according to his observations. This is the third fact for us to note: here we find God’s education of Adam regarding what He was about to do. As Adam engaged in this task of studying all of God’s creatures, he, of course, became familiar with them. This led to an interesting conclusion which comes at the end of v. 20: “but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.”

The first man learns that he has no companion; he finds not one creature among all of God’s creatures which is “suitable” for him—remember, that word means one which would correspond to Adam. Obviously, God already knew the outcome of this exercise. This was not a genuine search for a companion for Adam, this was an act designed to educate the first man regarding his uniqueness in creation. Adam had no counterpart. The conclusion of this process sets the stage for the creation of Eve. This context means that Eve will immediately be recognized by Adam as a creature “suitable” for him; he will instantly perceive that she is his helper, the one who corresponds to him.

This bring us to the fourth fact, which is God’s creation of Eve (cf. vv. 21, 22). This is one of the most famous accounts in the whole Bible. It is simple, yet it emphasizes what we already have learned, namely, that Eve was not just another creature in God’s world, she was special. Eve was created for a purpose which could not be fulfilled by any other creature which God made. In this sense, Eve had a particular significance as the one—the only one—who could rectify the circumstance specified by God Himself in v. 18: “It is not good for the man to be alone.” With Eve’s creation, that condition was changed and the change was, of course, good. Eve’s appearance made possible that final declaration: “God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good.” (1:31)

The manner in which the LORD made Eve also emphasizes the character of the relationship between the first man and the first woman: “[God] took one of [Adam’s] ribs... and fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man...” There is no indication that any of the birds or animals were made in this way. Unlike any of God’s other creatures, Eve came into existence as part of Adam. You could hardly imagine a more effective means of stressing the connectedness of these two. Adam was made from the dust of the ground and Eve was made from a part of Adam. They were two creatures, yet the same, in a sense. This description of Eve’s creation beautifully illustrates what Adam needed and how she was the answer to that need.

What follows is the fifth fact to be noticed in this account, which is God’s presentation of Eve to Adam: “And the man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’” (v. 23) Do you realize what is going on here? Remember that Adam was given the assignment of examining and naming all of God’s creatures according, I presume, to the characteristics which he noticed in them. One last creature is brought to Adam and he repeats the pattern; he analyzes Eve and makes a determination regarding her creaturely characteristics. With, I would imagine, a bit of excitement in his voice, Adam pronounces that Eve is bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh—Adam recognizes that Eve, unlike any other creature which he has yet encountered, is like him and corresponds to him; this reflects what I said earlier about God’s intention when He used one of Adam’s ribs to fashion Eve. God intended that she be immediately recognizable as corresponding to Adam; as this recognition takes place, the prior situation is remedied—Adam is no longer alone.

God said it was not good for the man to be alone; He then had Adam participate in the examination and naming of all other creatures, the conclusion of which verified that Adam was, indeed, lacking a companion. God then took a part of Adam and from it He made Eve who, when she is presented to the man, is instantly discerned to be just what the Creator desired—Adam’s necessary and perfectly suitable counterpart.

The sixth and final fact is the interpretation of this relationship: “For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” (v. 24) God provides us with a summary statement which represents the perspective we are to hold regarding Adam and Eve. Moreover, the wording of v. 24 leads us to the conclusion that this perspective is intended as a universal view, one which governs all men and all women. Adam and Eve had no mother or father, of course, but the Word does say “for this cause,” which tells us that what is being said is based upon what was just taught concerning the first man and the first woman. We are supposed to take from the Adam and Eve relationship a knowledge of what marriage is about.

As the text makes abundantly plain, the relationship between Adam and Eve was one of primary importance; no other earthly relationship exceeded it in terms of fundamental necessity. Adam was not complete without Eve; but with the creation of the woman, he was made complete. And, given the fact that Eve was made for that very purpose, we can conclude that she would have been incomplete without Adam. They were, as I remarked, literally made for each other. This is what is behind the phrase, “for this cause.”

Therefore, the relationship between Adam and Eve is supposed to be the model for all such relationships between men and women throughout history. Marriage is a relationship which exceeds all others because of its fundamental, indispensable nature. As v. 24 indicates, even the relationship of child and parent must take second place to the relationship between a husband and wife. This can only be said because God created men to have wives and women to have husbands. That is the natural order of things in this world. And this is why, as we will see under the next point, the institution of marriage is held in highest esteem throughout the Bible. In fact, no other human relationship or institution is spoken of with such honor in the Word of God.

Based upon these six facts, what, then, can we say about the doctrine of marriage? We can say that marriage, the joining of one man to one woman, is the most fundamental relationship in which we participate. Due to the placement of this doctrine in the account of creation, we can say that, generally speaking, marriage should be viewed as the normal or universal experience of all men and women. We can say that the union of man and woman is much more than a mere friendship; it has a decidedly spiritual dimension to it. This is indicated in Adam’s reaction to Eve and it is indicated in v. 24 where we are told that a man and a woman become “one flesh.” Eve completed Adam and she did this in a way that no animal could do and in a way that no other man could do. And we can say that Adam, for the moment, had a perspective on Eve which consisted of him understanding her necessary place in his existence; and, I believe, the same could be said of Eve. She had a perspective on Adam which consisted of her understanding his necessary place in her existence. Neither was whole, we might say, without the other. Adam needed an Eve and Eve was created for an Adam.

The state of purity is represented in the final verse of our passage (cf. v. 25). It sets the stage, of course, for the next story, which is man’s fall from innocence.

2. The Development of the Doctrine

Under the second point, we will see how this doctrine of the institution of marriage develops in the rest of Scripture. Let me remind you that I am using the term “marriage” to cover everything which is taught or implied in this early portion of Scripture concerning males and females. This passage is the theological foundation for all that the Bible has to say about male-female role relationships. Therefore, in the next sermon, we will look at the issue of the sanctity of marriage, as it is explained in Scripture; we will also consider related teachings, such as role relationships within a marriage and parenting. For now, I want to offer a few words of application based upon the presentation of this doctrine in Gen. 2.

3. The Application of the Doctrine

Although we haven’t moved beyond the initial presentation of the doctrine of marriage here in Gen. 2, there are a few practical observations which can be drawn from this early material. I’ll offer two as I close.

First, it seems clear that God would have us honor the institution of marriage. Let’s remember that this story is introduced with that statement: “It is not good for the man to be alone.” The solution to Adam’s circumstance is the doctrine of marriage. And if the solution to Adam’s circumstance was the doctrine of marriage, then it seems to me that this teaching is extremely important; and if this teaching is extremely important, then we must conclude that God wants us to honor the institution of marriage which is the expression of what we read here.

No one needs to remind us that we live in a day when the institution of marriage, Biblically defined, is denigrated and criticized. The number of couples living together without establishing the context which God requires for marriage increases yearly; the number of “alternatives” for traditional marriage also is growing. To put it mildly, this society does not honor the institution of marriage as given to us by the Creator. So, what do we do about that? The answer is two-fold.

To begin with, those of us who are married honor the institution of marriage by presenting a Biblical model to our children and others. We honor marriage by participating in our own marriage according to the teachings of Scriptures; we honor marriage by treating our spouses respectfully and by teaching the virtue of marriage to our children. If we lack understanding in this area of doctrine, then it is our duty to learn what God says about the marriage relationship. Few things substitute for our own conduct when it comes to convincing others that we actually believe what we profess.

To this can be added—and I tend to think that this is even more important—that those of us who are married also honor this institution by guarding the minds of our children from wicked attacks upon what God says is good and necessary. What I mean is that parents have to oversee the information which their children receive through various avenues. Television and movies, for example, are the leading opponents of traditional marriage. According to the entertainment industry, a marriage can consist of practically any relationship other then one man and one woman bound by vows living faithfully with one another. You can have two men, two women, two women and a man or any other combination and that will qualify as a legitimate relationship of the first order, according to the pagans.

Our children are witnesses to the destruction of the marriage model which is perpetrated by the most visible and most well-known people in our country. For example, we have a president who obviously abhors God’s law and who belittles the institution of marriage on an international stage. He then calls in “spiritual advisors” to make it look like he has a conscience. Our children are seeing this and they are being led to certain conclusions about how husbands and wives behave and you had better be there to tell them, in no uncertain terms, that the examples they are seeing are those of the ungodly.

Yes, the biggest job facing parents in regard to marriage is simply defending this institution against the various attacks which are coming from all sides and from all levels or power and popularity. But this is how honor is shown sometimes. Sometimes, honor is expressed in just such a defense of that which our Creator says is good for us all.

A second observation takes us a little further into our own marriages. It appears that this passage certainly would have us view our spouses in a particular light. We’ll learn a lot more about this later as we see how this doctrine unfolds in the rest of the Bible, but for now, let me state again that marriage is not just about two people deciding to unite, it is about a bond being established which cannot be found in any other relationship. I wonder if this is how you are thinking of your marriage. Are you thinking of it in terms of the beauty and uniqueness indicated in Gen. 2? Since I am one, I’ll concentrate on the husbands for a moment.

Men, how do you think of your wife? Is she “bone of your bones and flesh of your flesh” and are the two of you “one flesh”? Your wife is not just a friend, she is supposed to be your companion—and that word, I think says more than the word “friend.” Your wife should be viewed as indispensable, as necessary for a well-ordered and happy life. Do you think of your wife in that way? Do you really think of her as God’s provision for your happiness in this life and as God’s provision for your productivity in this life? By that last phrase, I mean that, according to Gen. 2, Adam was not prepared to carry out the assignment given to him by God until Eve was on the scene. How many husbands think of their wives as vital not only to their happiness, but also to their ability to labor profitably before God in this world?

This passage implies, I believe, that the ability to go forth and eagerly and successfully pursue our callings, whatever they happen to be, depends in large measure upon a well-ordered marriage. Men, union with one woman brings a completeness to us that we do not have by ourselves. This is how God made us. The history of our race testifies to this fact. This makes our wives fairly important, wouldn’t you say? This means that we should think of our wives as vital. As indicated, all of this becomes more clear as Biblical revelation continues. For now, we are dealing with the foundation, but even here, it is obvious that marriage, as defined by God, is a wonderful thing; which means that our wives, men, should be thought of as wonderful, as well.

If you, as a husband, respond “yes, this is how I think of my wife,” then I have another question for you: Does she know that? And if you say, “well, I assume she does,” then the answer is “no, she does not.” It’s an undeniable truth, from my perspective, that husbands do not spend a lot of time nurturing their wives even though, as I will emphasize in another sermon, this is one of the most basic duties which God puts upon the husband. This duty is easily understood when a husband understands that his wife is his counterpart, that his wife “harmonizes” with him and makes him whole and fully capable of pursuing his calling before God.

All of this means that there should be a oneness in your marriage union which is not found anywhere else. You and your wife should share a relationship which is absolutely unique; you should get more satisfaction out of spending time with your wife than you do spending time with any other human being, especially if that human being is yourself! What I mean is that men, who typically are loners, need to realize that they, by themselves, do not make the marriage and they, by themselves, are not what God intends. God knows this and your wife knows this; maybe you need to realize this fact, too. One of the chief complaints that wives make is that of a lack of attention—genuine attention—from their husbands.

This passage is the foundation for the doctrine of marriage, as I have emphasized. I’ve just touched upon a couple of the most obvious implications. Think about this passage this week. Think about it while you are working and as you sit with your family. Make sure that you understand the basic facts of Gen. 2 before we continue and see how this doctrine develops in the rest of the Bible. Make sure your family understands, too.

Conclusion