The Foundations of the Faith

Studies in Genesis 1-11

Sermon Number Twelve: The Doctrine of Marriage (part 2)

Jim Bordwine, Th.D.

Introduction

We are considering the doctrine of marriage, which is introduced in Gen. 2. In the last sermon, I covered the presentation of this doctrine in vv. 18-25 of this chapter. We now are ready to proceed with a survey of how this teaching develops in the rest of Scripture. Before doing that, however, I want to review briefly what we learned previously.

REVIEW

I pointed out that there are six important facts to be gleaned from this passage. First, I called attention to God’s description of Adam’s condition: “It is not good for the man to be alone...” (v. 18) This assessment comes from the Creator and it is the basis for what we read about in these verses. Second, I noted God’s response to Adam’s condition. God states that He will make a helper who harmonizes with Adam. The third fact had to do with God’s education of Adam regarding what He was about to do. As Adam engaged in the task of studying all of God’s creatures, a significant conclusion was reached, which is found at the end of v. 20: “but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.”

I stated that this was an act designed to educate the first man regarding his uniqueness in creation. The conclusion of this process sets the stage for the creation of Eve, which is the fourth fact. This account emphasizes that Eve was not just another creature in God’s world, she was special. Eve was created for a purpose which could not be fulfilled by any other creature which God made. The fifth fact to be noticed in this account was God’s presentation of Eve to Adam: “And the man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.’” (v. 23) Adam recognizes that Eve, unlike any other creature which he has yet encountered, is like him and corresponds to him. And then, the sixth and final fact is the interpretation of this relationship: “For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” (v. 24) God provides us with a summary statement which represents the perspective we are to hold regarding the institution of marriage.

Based upon these six facts, I said that we could conclude the following: Marriage, the joining of one man to one woman, is the most fundamental relationship in which men and women participate. Due to the placement of this doctrine in the account of creation, we can also say that, generally speaking, marriage should be viewed as the normal or universal experience of all men and women. And we can state that the union of man and woman is much more than a mere friendship; it has a decidedly spiritual dimension to it.

END OF REVIEW

2. The Development of the Doctrine

As we begin to consider the development of the doctrine of marriage, let me provide an overview of what the Bible teaches. We have seen already that the marriage relationship, which is the joining of a man and a woman, is one of extreme importance. It is superior even to the parent-child relationship, which is a relationship that every human being experiences from birth. What is described in Gen. 2 is the foundation for the advancement of the human race as it attempts to carry out the command given to subdue and rule over God’s creation. God presents the man-woman union as an essential first step in obeying that task.

From this point forward, then, the Scripture treats the man-woman relationship in that light and teaches us that this union is the basis for the most crucial of all human communities, which is the family. The family, grounded in a man-woman union, becomes the primary component in society and the primary means of propagating the true religion. This latter fact is, of course, where the concept of the covenant is so obviously manifested. The family, relating generation to generation, spreads the word of the knowledge of God and, after the fall, the hope of a future restoration for mankind. I won’t have time to develop this line of theology, but it is central to the subject of redemption and it all begins with the doctrine of marriage as presented in Gen. 2.

The significance of the institution of marriage can be discerned from what God has to say about it in His Word. If marriage, as defined in Gen. 2, were an unimportant or barely important issue, then we would expect to find little said about it in the Bible. But, as I have already stated, the opposite is true. And, as I just illustrated in my brief overview, the doctrine of marriage is among the most critical. As expected, therefore, we find that God’s Word has much to say about the one man-one woman relationship. To begin with, this union is protected as an exclusive relationship. That is, God does not allow a man to have more than one wife at a time, nor does He allow a woman to have more than one husband at a time.

In this regard, the many laws concerning adultery are designed to protect the marriage union and ensure that it is understood as an exclusive relationship. According to the Bible, adultery occurs when a married person has relations with anyone other than his or her lawful spouse. Adultery was seen as a great evil, both socially and morally, because it threatened the sanctity of home and family. Therefore, among the Ten Commandments, we find this statement: “You shall not commit adultery.” We know that the Ten Commandments represent God’s moral code by which men are bound to live; and we know that whatever appears in these Ten Commandments is of the greatest consequence.

These laws are a summary of everything which God considers indispensable for a right understanding of Him and ourselves. So, when we find that one of the Ten Commandments deals with the institution of marriage, this tells us something about the nature of marriage. The only reason such a law would be given at this particular place is because there is something sacred about the one man-one woman union, which, again, is described first in Gen. 2. The text of the Seventh Commandment indicates that the marriage union is fundamentally important, like acknowledging God as the only true God and rightly approaching Him (Commandments one through four), fundamentally important like recognizing and respecting God-ordained authority (the Fifth Commandment) the sanctity of human life (the Sixth Commandment) or the property of others (the Eighth Commandment) or the attribute of truthfulness (the Ninth Commandment) or the providence of God (the Tenth Commandment). The Seventh Commandment touches upon that which is integral to a rightly lived existence before God. If some type of unique and exclusive union were not being established in marriage, then there would be no need for such a commandment.

The Seventh Commandment is based upon the oneness of the flesh, which is established in the marriage union. The physical aspects of the marriage relationship signify the presence of this union, which, as I said before, is of such a nature that it can exist only between one man and one woman at any given time. If a husband or wife, therefore, enters into a physical union with anyone other than their spouse, it destroys the unique and exclusive relationship which existed prior to that time. This matter is so serious that violation of God’s law meant death:

If there is a man who commits adultery with another man’s wife, one who commits adultery with his friend’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. (Lev. 20:10)

Capital punishment is reserved for the most destructive and immoral kinds of behavior. I will repeat, then, that when we see such laws given with respect to marriage, it must be because that institution, above all others, is absolutely essential to a well-ordered life and society. When we examined Gen. 2, one of the conclusions which I suggested as an application is that God would have us honor the institution of marriage. It certainly seems as if He does that Himself. God not only gives the institution of marriage, He protects that institution with laws such as the one just mentioned. These laws were designed to establish the sanctity of that union between a man and a woman.

One of the facts which has often puzzled readers of the Bible is the occasional practice of polygamy among some characters in the Old Testament. Our brief study of a couple of passages assures us that God never intended that polygamy be practiced by His people. In fact, there are numerous passages which describe the disastrous results which occurred when God’s people ignored His laws and behaved like the pagan nations around them. What must be clear in our minds, however, is the fact that the Bible never endorses that kind of relationship. We simply do not have the time to look at the dozens of verses which lead us to esteem the institution of marriage, as defined in Gen. 2—that is, between one man and one woman.

Nevertheless, before we move on to another aspect of marriage, I do want to call your attention to the remarks of the Savior in Matt. 19:

3 And some Pharisees came to [Jesus], testing Him, and saying, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause at all?” 4 And He answered and said, “Have you not read, that He who created them from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE, 5 and said, ‘FOR THIS CAUSE A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER, AND SHALL CLEAVE TO HIS WIFE; AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH’? 6 Consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”

The Pharisees knew, of course, that Moses had given legislation which governed divorce, to a certain degree. Hoping to pit Jesus against Moses, therefore, the Pharisees asked Him this question. I suspect that the Pharisees were counting on Jesus to say just what He said because the next thing they do is refer to that law of Moses which allowed for a certificate of divorce (cf. v. 7). What is most important for us to notice is the Savior’s answer to the first question: “Is it lawful [i.e., permissible] for a man to divorce his wife for any cause at all?” Jesus does not allow any room for misunderstanding; He responds by quoting the passage which we have studied, Gen. 2. Once again, then, we see that this passage is the definitive text when it comes to marriage. Jesus returns to it as if to quote an authority which is above dispute.

The Savior ridicules the Pharisees: “Have you not read...” It’s as if He says, “Don’t you know what the Scripture says, you who are so-called experts in the word?” This underscores the fundamental nature of the Gen. 2 text. That is where God defines and explains the nature of marriage. After quoting the text, Jesus gives us His interpretation of it: “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” This statement is based on the notion that the one man-one woman union establishes a relationship which is exclusive. Jesus speaks in such a way that He emphasizes the “two becoming one” aspect of marriage. Once that happens, He declares, it is not to be undone.

This brings us to a second aspect of the development of the doctrine of marriage after Gen. 2. Marriage is not only to be viewed as an exclusive institution—meaning that it consists of one man joined to one woman—it also is a permanent institution. Notice again, the force of the Savior’s answer to the Pharisees: “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” Marriage is, according to Jesus, a divinely established union between a man and a woman. Since God establishes the union, it is nonsense to think that any man would have the authority to undo the union. This is what Jesus declares in a simple, easily understood fashion. Marriage is to be seen as an abiding relationship, one which, according to other parts of Scripture, continues until death. The fact that it is permanent testifies to the importance of this relationship.

Having made the statement that God establishes the marriage union, which means that no man has the authority to dissolve the union, I have, of course, introduced yet another aspect of the doctrine of marriage, which is divorce. Jesus denies to anyone with less authority than God the right to separate a husband from his wife. This was, you’ll remember, the point which the Pharisees were hoping to exploit to their advantage. Moses had given permission for a man to give his wife a certificate of divorce (cf. v. 7). So, once Jesus responded by quoting from Gen. 2 and giving an interpretation that seemed to contradict Moses, the Pharisees pounced on the opportunity:

7 They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?” 8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart, Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. 9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

Three important facts are revealed in the Savior’s answer. First, He informs us that sin is always at the heart of divorce. To put it another way, Biblically speaking, it is impossible for a divorce to take place in the absence of sin. That phrase, “your hardness of heart,” is a way of saying “because of your sin.” Regardless of what we may be used to in our day, the Bible never condones divorce and it emphatically teaches that divorce always involves sin of some kind. This follows from the nature of the marriage union, which we have examined previously. Marriage is an exclusive union involving one man and one woman and it is a permanent relationship. The destruction of such a relationship—one that was created by God—must involve sin, as Jesus indicates here.

The second fact which is revealed in the Savior’s answer is one which He already stated. Jesus adds: “But from the beginning it has not been this way.” This takes us back to the previous point, which was the permanence of the marriage relationship. Again, Jesus refers to the foundation passage for the doctrine of marriage, Gen. 2. He tells the Pharisees that God designed marriage to be forever, as far as our life on this earth is concerned. Marriage is not a “try it to see if you like it” kind of relationship; it is not a relationship established with crossed-fingers or pre-nuptial agreements. Biblically speaking, marriage is a permanent joining of one man to one woman. It is a relationship which cannot be duplicated.

The third fact found in the Savior’s response concerning Moses’ permission for divorce is a recognition of the fallen nature of man: “Whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” (v. 9) This ties in with the Lord’s explanation for the Mosaic legislation. There, He said: “Because of the hardness of your heart [or, because of sin], Moses permitted you to divorce your wives...” (v. 8) Here, He recognizes a fact of this fallen system: those who are married can sin in such a way as to do irreparable harm to the marriage union.

However, let’s make sure that we do not misunderstand what is being taught. Think of it this way: Jesus is not permitting divorce as much as He is protecting the innocent party. If the Savior were simply saying that here is a way in which a marriage can end, then that would contradict what He already said about marriage being permanent and about no man having the authority to separate what God has joined. There is a big difference between the two concepts, one being a permission for divorce, as if two people who are joined can simply decide to separate, and the other being protection for the innocent party when a spouse sins in such a way as to destroy the marriage union. The difference has to do with how we are looking at these words of Jesus. We live in a world which trains us to interpret Jesus as almost saying that divorce is acceptable under these conditions. But that view puts the emphasis on the wrong element.

We need to keep in mind that divorce is never acceptable; it may be inevitable due to the sinful conduct of people, but is it not acceptable, from God’s perspective any more than the other sins which we commit in our lives are acceptable to God. God does not provide a means whereby a marriage can end without the presence of sin; and sin is that which is contrary to God’s will. So, we need to be careful that we do not believe or tell others that the Bible “permits” divorce unless we understand the qualifications for such a statement. We must not leave people with the impression that the dissolution of a marriage is a small thing in which both parties can walk away guiltless. That simply cannot happen.

Let’s remember that Jesus has already said that the original provision for divorce was based on the presence of sin, so He hardly is condoning divorce in this passage. Divorce is always wrong because it destroys the marriage union which God establishes and which God says is good and necessary for us. Divorce may come due to the actions of one of the parties in the marriage, actions over which the innocent party has no control. This is the Savior’s concern in this response to the Pharisees. Once the marriage union is destroyed by an unfaithful spouse, the innocent party is no longer bound.

Among the Pharisees, the regulations on divorce had grown way beyond Moses’ accommodation of their hard-heartedness. Divorce among the Pharisees had become a matter of preference and picky tastes—a wife could be divorced, according to Pharisaical teaching, for just about any reason. Jesus is condemning Pharisaism and reminding them that God does not permit divorce—you cannot separate what God has joined and any separation which takes place, therefore, is sin of the most disturbing kind.

God does recognize, however, the plight of the innocent party, which was, by they way, of no concern in Pharisaism. What option does a man have if his wife commits adultery and thereby destroys the marriage union? His only option, if he chooses it, is divorce. A divorce is a means of recognizing that the marriage union has been destroyed due to sin. In a manner of speaking, it is not the innocent party’s actions which constitute the divorce; the divorce takes place when the spouse sins.

We covered only a portion of the most important developments of the doctrine of marriage. Marriage is intended to be an exclusive and a permanent relationship. There is much more to be learned about the institution of marriage. However, I don’t have time to go much further with this; so, knowing that I have left a subject incompletely explored, I will conclude this section by saying that the Bible recognizes two grounds for divorce: one, the commission of immorality, as Jesus teaches here and in an earlier passage (Matt. 5); and, two, the desertion of the marriage covenant by one party, which is explained by Paul in 1 Cor. 7. I should note that again in Paul’s passage, divorce is contemplated in the context of sin and his concern, like the concern of the Savior, is the protection of the innocent party.

In the next sermon, I will move ahead with a brief study on the role relationships within a marriage. We will see what the Bible says about the place of the husband, the wife and parents. For now, we will turn to the application of what we have learned up to this point.

3. The Application of the Doctrine

For this application, I’ll return to those two primary aspects of marriage which I emphasized: the exclusive nature of marriage and the permanent nature of marriage. We do not have a problem with polygamy in this congregation, so some might assume that little needs to be said about the exclusive nature of marriage. We have no homes in which a husband has more than one wife or a wife has more than one husband. However, there are two ways to look at this—we can talk about that which is most obvious and that which is less obvious. The most obvious side of this would be the man who is married to more than one woman at the present time. As I said, we have no such cases. The less obvious side of this would be what takes place in our minds.

Husbands and wives should be reminded from time to time that fidelity is as much a part of our brains as it is our bodies. We not only need to manifest the exclusive nature of our marriage in our conduct—by having one wife or one husband—we also need to manifest the exclusive nature of our marriage in our desires, our thinking and our speech. Men, we need to make sure that in our hearts, there is only one woman; and, women, you need to make sure that in your hearts, there is only one man. There is no room for fantasy or a momentary entertaining of a “what if” scenario. I think you all understand what I’m saying.

It’s a known fact—and a clearly Biblical presupposition—that men have more problems in this area than women. A quick scan of the Proverbs, for example, will confirm this. There are numerous passages in the book addressed to men concerning purity of thought and desire and not one, as far as I know, addressed to women. The general context of the whole book, remember, is a father speaking to his son. Add to this, the fact that the role of the husband means, generally speaking, that he will be “out in the world” where greater temptation exists. This is all the more reason for men to guard their minds and speech. We have one and only one intimate partner in this life and what transpires mentally and physically with our wives is not to be duplicated under any circumstances.

Speaking of the permanent nature of marriage, I would note that this is how we should think of marriage and it is how we should teach our children to think of marriage. Particularly in this age when marriage is viewed as a relationship which can be terminated for practically any reason, young adults need to be taught that marriage is an important step; in fact, I would say that it is the most important step they will ever take in this life. When they take that step, it should be with the understanding that it happens only once.

The Biblical teaching on marriage should, therefore, be understood before a union is established. Contrary to the prevailing practice of pre-marriage counseling, this is, I think, the duty of the parent, not the pastor. I deal with couples who have had little or no instruction about marriage and, in such cases, the duty does fall to me. But this should be the exception, not the rule. So, parents, this puts quite a responsibility upon you. Before your son or daughter contemplates marriage, make sure that they have a solid foundation; make sure that they understand that this is a permanent bonding with another human being.

While on the subject of permanence, I want to say that one of the most effective testimonies to what God has ordained is a long and happy marriage. Personally, I am greatly encouraged when a couple lets this congregation know that they are having an anniversary. Such an occurrence is one in which we all should delight. Again, given the age in which we live, long and happy marriages are a contrast to what we see all around us. Such testimony is something for which we should be grateful to God; and such testimony surely will affect our children in the years to come.

Conclusion