The Foundations of the Faith

Studies in Genesis 1-11

Sermon Number Fourteen: The Doctrine of Marriage (part 4)

Jim Bordwine, Th.D.

Introduction

Our studies in the early chapters of Genesis currently are focused on the doctrine of marriage. After examining the doctrine as it is presented in Gen. 2, we have been looking at how this doctrine develops in the rest of Scripture. So far, we have seen how the Bible treats the institution of marriage and we have considered the nature of the primary relationship in a marriage, which is that relationship between husband and wife. Today, we continue exploring the development of this doctrine as we move to the second relationship which exists in a marriage, generally speaking, and that is the relationship between parents and children.

To be precise, let me say that the assumption which I am following, and which I believe is clearly Biblical, is that the institution of marriage is the foundation for the family. Therefore, it is natural that our study of this doctrine would include material dealing with the relationships which exist in the family. This is why we studied the husband-wife relationship before and it is why we are going to begin studying the parent-child relationship this morning.

02. The Development of the Doctrine (continued)

There are two matters which I want to cover in the parent-child relationship: the first is the nature of that relationship and the second is the chief duties of each party in that relationship. In this sermon, I will speak about the first of these matters. And as we consider the nature of the relationship between parents and children, I want to concentrate upon one important aspect, which is the one most emphasized in the Bible. In describing this aspect of the relationship between a parent and a child, I will use the term “covenantal.”

When I say “covenantal,” I mean that the nature of the parent-child relationship is determined by the larger context of God’s work of redemption; God has so ordained redemption that the spiritual status of the parent has implications for the spiritual status of the child. While this is, as I just stated, the aspect of the parent-child relationship most emphasized in Scripture, it is, at the same time, the aspect most ignored and misunderstood by God’s people today. For the most part, Christian parents do not think covenantally when it comes to them grasping the position they occupy in the lives of their offspring. The concept of covenant is not one with which the average believer is familiar; therefore, to put it another way, we could say that God views the child in relation to the parent. This is, simply stated, what a covenantal view of the parent-child relationship means.

I hasten to add, of course, that this covenantal arrangement does not mean that God never has regard for the children of unbelieving parents or the children of parents who do not view the parent-child relationship is this manner; nor does it mean that the children of believing parents are guaranteed salvation regardless of their response because they do see the covenantal model in operation. What I’m going to describe is what is presented as the typical or ideal picture in Scripture. As we all know, God often makes allowances for our ignorance and even our disobedience and blesses us in spite of our fault.

In Scripture, the work of redemption is presented as a covenantal or “contractual” arrangement between God, the Father, and Jesus Christ, the Son. In the covenant of redemption, God promises forgiveness and eternal life to all those for whom Jesus Christ supplies a payment for sin and an imputed righteousness. Further, it is the Spirit’s role in this covenant of redemption effectually to call those for whom Christ has secured redemption, regenerate them, seal them and abide with them throughout their lifetimes. This is, in essence, the promise of salvation which God first revealed following the fall of Adam and Eve and which has been proclaimed throughout history.

For our present purposes, we must ask if this plan of salvation, incorporating as it is does the promises of God and the work of Jesus Christ, is purely individualistic in application. As we explore this issue, we are taken to the heart of the relationship between parents and children. We are going to see that God has placed an emphasis upon the spiritual dimensions of the parent-child relationship, which means that this is where our attention should be directed if we are going to understand fully beauty and wisdom of the parent-child relationship.

To begin with, we must affirm that salvation is a truly personal experience; the faith or belief that is expressed in the promises of God is an individual matter. But, having affirmed this, we must ask further if the experience of salvation has any direct implications for others beside the individual sinner himself. Much light is given to this matter when we consider the text of the Second Commandment, which has to do with the manner in which God is worshiped: “I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children, on the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing lovingkindness to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My commandments.” (Ex.. 20:5, 6)

These verses clearly teach a conditional connection between fathers and their children. The consequences of disobedience are felt not only by the sinner, but also by his descendants; the same is true regarding the consequences of obedience. The behavior of fathers—at least according to this one Commandment—can put their children in an unfavorable light or a favorable light, spiritually speaking. This Commandment is a perfectly clear illustration of the covenant principle in the family. In a covenant, one party can represent many others—such as Adam’s representation of the human race at the time of the fall, or Christ’s representation of His people during the accomplishment of atonement. In this case, God clearly indicates that the father is a representative of the child in terms of certain spiritual consequences.

It seems to me, then, that we must answer “yes” to the question of whether the experience of salvation has direct implications for others besides the individual sinner himself. This is particularly true when we consider families. Given what the Bible teaches, some of which we will examine momentarily, we cannot say that a sinner’s salvation, while it requires a personal faith, is limited in implication to him. The calling and regeneration of a sinner have ramifications for that sinner’s dependents. Due to the manner in which God chooses to work and the nature of the family which He has ordained, salvation may not be viewed as a purely individualistic event as though it has no repercussions for those who have familial ties to the one making a profession of faith. Salvation must be seen as a covenantal event in which the sinner is, of course, affected, but also an event in which the dependents of the sinner are affected. This is why we must consider this aspect of the parent-child relationship before all others.

There are two primary passages in which the idea of a covenantal relationship between parent and child is taught. The first is Gen. 17:7-14:

7 “And I will establish My covenant between Me and you and your descendants after you throughout their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be God to you and to your descendants after you. 8 And I will give to you and to your descendants after you, the land of your sojournings, all the land of Canaan, for an everlasting possession; and I will be their God.” 9 God said further to Abraham, “Now as for you, you shall keep My covenant, you and your descendants after you throughout their generations. 10 This is My covenant, which you shall keep, between Me and you and your descendants after you: every male among you shall be circumcised. 11 And you shall be circumcised in the flesh of your foreskin; and it shall be the sign of the covenant between Me and you. 12 And every male among you who is eight days old shall be circumcised throughout your generations, a servant who is born in the house or who is bought with money from any foreigner, who is not of your descendants. 13 A servant who is born in your house or who is bought with your money shall surely be circumcised; thus shall My covenant be in your flesh for an everlasting covenant. 14 But an uncircumcised male who is not circumcised in the flesh of his foreskin, that person shall be cut off from his people; he has broken My covenant.”

Genesis 17 represents the culmination of contact between God and Abraham. In previous encounters, God had indicated His intention to bless Abraham abundantly by making him the father of nations. Here God restates His purpose for Abraham and then gives the patriarch a fuller explanation of this relationship by referring to it as “an everlasting covenant.” (v. 7) The essence of the relationship between God and Abraham is represented in the phrase “to be God to you and to your descendants after you.” God enters into a personal relationship with Abraham and Abraham’s descendants; in this relationship, God obligates Himself to the patriarch and to the patriarch’s offspring. God is meeting with Abraham only, He is speaking with Abraham only, but the promises which God speaks incorporate all of Abraham’s descendants.

This is the nature of a covenant; two parties meet and, in this case, one of those parties, namely, Abraham, stands as a representative of many others. Because of God’s favor toward Abraham, Abraham’s descendants would be blessed. Later, of course, Paul explains that what is being spoken to Abraham here is the gospel and he emphasizes that it is not those who descend from Abraham physically who are the sole heirs to this promise, but it is those who imitate the faith of Abraham and believe God’s word who are the heirs of this great promise (cf. Gal. 3). What is recorded in Gen. 17, therefore, is God’s promise to bring salvation to the world through the seed of Abraham.

To further emphasize the implications of God’s actions for Abraham’s offspring, God commands Abraham to “mark” his dependents with an outward, visible sign. God already indicated that Abraham’s descendants were included in His favor, but then He orders a sign which would represent this relationship. Circumcision was to be applied to all the malesæsons and servantsæin Abraham’s household. This sign indicated that they were in a covenantal relationship with God through Abraham. Notice an important fact: Abraham’s dependents were included by the express command of God. They were not asked if they wanted to be included, nor was Abraham asked if he liked this arrangement. God determined to operate in this manner and so informs Abraham. Clearly, then, Abraham’s relationship with God had definite implications for his dependents. They were brought into a relationship with God by virtue of Abraham’s faith. God does not address Abraham’s descendants, but includes them as recipients of the blessing due to His relationship with their father. This, once again, is the nature of a covenant.

The seriousness with which God viewed this relationship with Abraham and his dependents is indicated when God declares that “an uncircumcised male... shall be cut off from his people; he has broken My covenant.” (v. 14) God teaches that outside this covenantal arrangement in which He obligates Himself to Abraham’s descendants, there is no salvation. Abraham’s descendants are “automatically” included in the line of God’s blessing; circumcision was required as a way of acknowledging one’s participation in this covenant. Therefore, God warns that refusal to acknowledge the covenant through circumcision would result in exclusion from this saving arrangement.

This warning proves that simply being a descendant of Abraham did not guarantee one’s salvation. God placed Abraham’s descendants in a favored position, but they were required to exercise obedience to the requirements of the covenant in order to realize the saving benefits of the covenant. This, of course, provides an answer to those who criticize covenant theology for providing false hope to the children of believers. On the contrary, covenant theology emphasizes God’s kindness in placing our children in a favored status, but it also emphasizes with equal vigor the duty of covenant faithfulness by which one shows himself to be a true son of God.

The second passage in which the idea of a covenantal relation between parent and child is taught is 1 Cor. 7:

10 But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband 11 (but if she does leave, let her remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not send his wife away. 12 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, let him not send her away. 13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, let her not send her husband away. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.

The context of these verses is Paul’s advice to the Corinthians on various questions related to marriage. In particular, he had been asked about a situation in which either a believing husband or wife has an unbelieving spouse. What is the Christian’s duty under such circumstances? Should the believer leave the unbeliever? Paul responds that if the unbelieving spouse consents to remain, that is, if the unbelieving partner agrees to abide by the marriage vows even though the other spouse is a Christian, then the believer should not seek to end the marriage (vv. 12, 13). Paul gives his reason for this command in v. 14: “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband...” What does he mean?

The word translated “sanctified” (hegiastai) refers to things that are set apart for sacred purposes. Paul says that because of the presence of a believing spouse, an unbelieving spouse is in a favorable position relative to God. The apostle’s thinking is not difficult to understand. The believing spouse brings the gospel and all the blessings associated with the gospel into the marriage. The unbelieving spouse, therefore, will be exposed to the gospel in a way not possible under different circumstances; the unbelieving spouse also will enjoy the fruits of God’s grace as He works in the life of the believing spouse.

Paul means to encourage believers with unbelieving spouses. He doesn’t promise the salvation of unbelieving spouses, but he offers hope that, due to the nature of such a marriage, God might bring the unbeliever to faith. Therefore, the believer should not seek to terminate the marriage. It is the covenantal nature of marriage which allows Paul to make such statements. Whether believer or unbeliever, the two have become one flesh and must, therefore, share in one another’s advantages, disadvantages, blessings and afflictions.

This covenantal idea extends to the children in such a marriage, Paul adds: “...for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy.” Two words must be defined. The word translated “unclean” (akatharta) refers to that which is ritually unacceptable, that which is defiled; and the word translated “holy” (hagia) refers to things set apart for God’s purpose, things sacred. The two words describe opposite qualities. Paul applies these qualities to the children produced in a marriage. The principle of sanctification, first explained as it applies to a believing spouse’s influence on an unbelieving spouse, finds application to the children. According to Paul, children produced in a marriage consisting of at least one believing parent are “holy”; that is, they bear a special relationship to God in which they are subject to His favor. On the other hand, children produced in a marriage consisting of two unbelieving parents are “unclean” and have no such relationship with God.

Let me emphasize that the only way to explain what Paul says here is to recognize that the spiritual status of a child is connected to that of the parent. Paul could make this distinction between the children of believers and the children of unbelievers because the saving relationship between a parent and God has implications for the children. What other conclusion can we reach when Paul speaks of a distinction between the spiritual status of children based upon the belief or unbelief of parents? In the same way that an unbelieving spouse comes under the influence of the gospel due to a believing spouse, so children of believing parents come under the influence of the gospel.

There is a difference, however, between the unbelieving spouse who is “sanctified” by his believing partner and children who are “sanctified” by a believing parent; and this difference is critical. The difference is that God has made a special promise to the descendants of believers, but no such promise has been made to the unbelieving spouses of Christians. The unbelieving spouse will be subject to the influence of the gospel, but, in the case of children, God promises more than that; He promises to be the God of our descendants after us, which implies that He takes a special interest in the offspring of believers.

Having examined these two primary passages, I would like to mention that the Old Testament bears ample testimony to the covenant principle that I have been talking about. Particularly in the first few generations after Abraham, we find God operating according to what He revealed to Abraham in Gen. 17; that is, God savingly interacts with the descendants of the patriarch and maintains the covenant line from one generation to the next. When this portion of Scripture is reviewed, it becomes obvious that God is taking the initiative to establish and maintain contact with the descendants of Abraham. The favored status of the descendants of Abraham is continued throughout the Old Testament narrative and culminates in the ultimate seed of Abraham, Jesus Christ (cf. Gal. 3:16). Therefore, we find an emphasis in the Old Testament on developing a generational perspective on life (cf. Psa. 22:30; 48:13; 71:18; 78:3 ff.; 102:18; 145:4; Pro. 13:22; 14:26).

With the coming of Christ, the Bible shows just how broad will be the blessing promised to Abraham when, following the resurrection of the Savior, the gospel promise is preached to all the nations. During his public preaching of the gospel, the apostle Peter declares, “Repent, and let each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. For the promise is for you and your children, and for all who are far off, as many as the Lord our God shall call to Himself.” (Acts 2:38. 39) To which promise does Peter refer? He refers to the promise of Gen. 17:7: “And I will establish My covenant between Me and you and your descendants after you throughout their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be God to you and to your descendants after you.”

Remember, as I stated earlier, this promise is identified by Paul as the gospel in Gal. 3. Peter’s words are a deliberate statement regarding the nature of children in the age of the Messiah. One of the first declarations made by the early Church, therefore, was the continuing status of children in relation to the covenant of redemption! The first proclamation of the gospel in the New Testament contained this reaffirmation of the covenant principle that puts the children of believers in a favorable light before God. The importance of this perspective on the gospel, this perspective on God’s work of redemption and this perspective on our children cannot be overstated. In my opinion, it remains for the Church of Jesus Christ rightly to grasp this perspective and conform to its implications. Thankfully, there are some in our day who are examining the issue of our children’s relation to the covenant and they are challenging the Church to adopt a more consistent view. Let us hope that ours is the generation that will embrace what the Bible teaches so clearly.

03. The Application of the Doctrine

What principles can be drawn from this Biblical material? What should parents understand about their relationship with their children based upon these passages? What should the Church understand about the relation of parent to child? Before offering several principles, let me summarize what we have learned thus far about the relationship between parents and children. First, we have seen that the spiritual status of parents has implications for the spiritual status of children. The manner in which God has chosen to bring redemption to the human race makes this truth necessary. Second, and more particularly, we have discovered that God has obligated Himself to the descendants of believers. This is no insignificant truth! God includes our children in His plan of redemption. With this said, let me make a few observations.

I’ll begin by emphasizing that the favored status of our children is a matter of God’s promise; their standing before God is a settled issue from the point of conception. The child of a believing parent comes into this world a child of the covenant. As far as actions or rituals are concerned, the Church does not establish a child’s membership in God’s covenant community; as far as actions or rituals are concerned, a believing parent does not establish a child’s membership in God’s covenant community. The child of a believing parent already is a member of God’s covenant community before and regardless of any action taken or any ritual performed by the Church or the parent.

Both the Church and the parent should acknowledge the status of the child by marking the child with baptism, which is the sign which now indicates the relationship first revealed to Abraham. When this is done, however, it is the recognition of a condition which already exists, it is not the cause of the condition. Children of believing parents are baptized because they are, by God’s command, covenant children; they are not baptized so they can become covenant children.

This distinction is crucial to a right understanding of how the Church and parents are supposed to view children. The children of believing parents do not exist in some kind of neutral territory until they receive baptism; their baptism points to an existing relationship between them and God. And, I would add, the fact that the sign of covenant membership points to an exiting status is why God gave Abraham a warning about circumcision in Gen. 17. The father who did not circumcise his son was denying what God said was so; he was denying the child’s membership in the covenant community and was, therefore, engaging in gross disobedience. Refusal to circumcise resulted in the son being separated from the covenant community in which he would be trained and in which he would come to know the grace of God that had provided so marvelously for his salvation.

All of this bears on the view that the Church and parents have toward children. Parents should view their little ones as most blessed, indeed. Parents should be anxious to acknowledge God’s covenant kindness; they should be eager to declare publicly this acknowledgment in the sacrament of baptism. They should understand that this acknowledgment is a matter of obedience to what God commands and a matter of faith in what God promises. It is a matter of obedience because God commands us to apply the sign of the covenant to our children and it is a matter of faith because the only reason we have to be hopeful where the salvation of our children is concerned is God’s promise to be our God and the God of our descendants. Parents have God’s word that He has regard for their children; they need only believe God’s promise and respond faithfully to what God requires of them.

What Christian parents must not do is view their children as “little pagans” as though God has never spoken about their status. What Christian parents must not do is lead their children to believe that they are outside the covenant community. Parents must not ignore their children’s interest in the covenant of redemption because God, Himself, established their interest in the covenant. Christian parents should rejoice and give thanks to the God of the covenant; they should praise Him for His wisdom and mercy expressed toward those most dear to them. The covenant status of our children is a most comforting doctrine. The parent cannot believe for the child, but the parent can take full, hopeful and thankful advantage of the grace that makes the child precious in the eyes of God.

Much of what I’ve said is applicable to the Church. The Church must teach and support the view of covenant children which we find in Scripture. The Church must recognize the status of Her children and must tend to them accordingly. The Church must teach parents to recognize the covenant status of their children; She must teach and urge parents to acknowledge by baptism what God has said and promised. The Church must assist parents in the raising of covenant children by equipping and praying for the parents and by lovingly seeking to supplement the parents’ instruction.

What the Church must not do is exclude God’s little ones from worship; they belong in the assembly of the saints just as surely as any adult. The Church must not divide the family that God has bound together not only physically, but spiritually; the Church should cherish the family and minister to the family. The Church must not withhold from covenant children the means of grace which God has ordained for the good of His people. God’s little ones should be marked with the sign of His grace in baptism; it is their covenantal right. They should be fed from the Table of their covenant Savior; Christ secured redemption according to God’s design of redemption. As we’ve just seen, that design includes our children, so the sacrament that Christ has ordained for our nourishment belongs to them just as surely as it belongs to any adult.

Children should hear the Word of God by which they learn of redemption and life in the family of God; and they should hear the Word in the presence of their parents as they witness a mature faith even though they are yet spiritual babes. And children should sing God’s praise as they are able; they should be made glad by the music of praise and thanksgiving and should be encouraged to worship God in this manner. The Church should rejoice in Her children because they represent the kindness, wisdom and mercy of God and they represent the assurance that the knowledge of God will, indeed, be made known to generations yet unborn.

I have not yet talked about the second issue which I mentioned at the beginning of this sermon: the chief duty of parents and the chief duty of children within the family. Lord willing, we will return to this subject one more time and see what the Bible teaches about the responsibilities of parents and children within this wonderful covenant context.

Conclusion