Prison Epistles

The Prison Epistles
Sermon Number Forty-one
Congregational Characteristics (part 3)
Colossians 3:12-17
February 26th, 2006
Jim Bordwine, ThD

Introduction

In the Gospel of Luke, as he records the events surrounding the final hours of the Savior's life, we're told that Jesus appeared before Herod and Pilate. Although Pilate stated that he found no guilt in Jesus, the Jews cried out and insisted that Jesus be crucified. Again, Pilate said "I have found in Him no guilt demanding death; therefore I will punish Him and release Him." But the enemies of the Savior raised their voices even louder and they prevailed, Luke tells us.

Shortly thereafter, we read of Jesus making His way to the place where He would be crucified. When they arrived, Luke says they crucified Jesus along with two criminals, one on the left and one on the right. We know that Jesus endured unbelievable abuse that night; we know He was falsely accused and became the focus of a hatred not commonly seen in this world. As the soldiers mocked Him, as some cast lots for His robe, as His enemies rejoiced over His suffering, Jesus made a statement and it is, to me, one of the most astonishing statements in the Bible: "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." (Luke 23:34)

The fact that Jesus would say such a thing in such a circumstance should tell us immediately that forgiveness is one of the most powerful notions we will ever encounter in this life. When the One who was without sin uttered those words, even as He was the object of vicious anger and even as He felt the pain of spikes through His flesh and even as the blood from His beatings stained His skin, He was illustrating a concept that is the salvation of mankind and also the salvation of every relationship--whether it be between God and man, or one man to another. Forgiveness--here is an idea that embodies what is most meaningful to us as fallen creatures. Here is mercy, grace, restoration, rest, and hope.

When we think of Jesus, we think of His teaching and, of course, His miracles. We think of how He demonstrated that He was, in fact, the Son of God by the things He did. All this is true, but I want to tell you that Jesus was never more obviously God in the flesh than at that moment when He uttered that statement: "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing." Forgiveness is an expression of the Divine. Forgiveness, as I indicated, is that indispensable element in our redemption. But I want to stress that forgiveness remains the most necessary and beneficial concept we'll ever know even after our conversion, even after we have come to know the Lord.

Consider your state if every wrongful thing you've ever done and every sin you've ever committed and every wicked word you've ever spoken and every impure thought you've ever had remained chargeable against you. Who could endure this life--not to mention the judgment to come--without forgiveness? How would we ever be reconciled to God without forgiveness? How would we ever manage to find a moment's pleasure and peace in this life without forgiveness? If we don't forgive and if we aren't forgiven by others, we create a situation in our lives that can produce only much misery of soul. Maybe you know what I'm talking about.

"Please forgive me"--three simple words but they form a phrase that some would rather choke on than utter. And there's another phrase, also composed of three words and also apparently nearly impossible for some to speak: "I forgive you." Two short, simple phrases that are, in my opinion, the key to harmony in every important relationship and yet we prefer other expressions. Instead of saying "please forgive me," we say "get over it" or "you're too sensitive" or "I didn't mean it the way you took it" or "I had a hard day" or "so-and-so is worse than me" or "who are you to judge me." And in the place of "I forgive you," we use phrases like "I don't think your apology is sincere" or "you aren't really sorry" or "you don't understand how much you hurt me."

Now I know that not everyone behaves like this all the time. But I also know that everyone behaves like this some of the time. And, sadly, there are people who do behave like this much of the time. Asking for forgiveness and extending forgiveness are greater challenges to us, on occasion, than scaling the highest mountain or swimming the broadest river. That's because forgiveness, when it is practiced, touches the very center of our being and forgiveness asked for or given requires us to act contrary to our fallen natures. That's why it is so hard for some to practice forgiveness. To admit wrong or to extend mercy when wronged--well, those acts necessitate putting the flesh to death.

If you want to see the depravity of the human heart, then pay attention when you encounter someone who resists seeking forgiveness from those he has sinned against; or pay attention when you encounter someone who withholds forgiveness when asked. Or, better yet, just take a look at yourself the next time you sin against someone and you sense that feeling of self-righteousness that makes you resist humbling yourself to another. And take a look at yourself the next time you are asked for forgiveness and your flesh fights against the idea of letting go of that wrong done to you.

Forgiveness, as I stated, is of the essence of our redemption. As we return to our study of Col. 3:12-17, we're going to find Paul speaking on this topic of forgiveness. He is going to teach us one very simple but critically important truth: to forgive is to imitate God.

Our current text, as noted, is Col. 3:12-17. Let me read it once again this morning:

12 So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; 13 bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. 14 Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. 15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17 Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.

We are talking about congregational characteristics--those qualities that should be seen in the people of God. Paul uses the image of taking off one garment and putting on another as he explains what happens to us when we are saved. He's describing how the old, fallen disposition is replaced by a new disposition, what the Scripture elsewhere calls "the seed of God." Two weeks ago, we considered the implications of his Paul's declaration that we are the chosen of God, holy and beloved. Last time, we examined those traits--compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience--traits that Paul says should be found in the lives of those who are the chosen of God.

So, following Paul's analogy in v. 12, we are still looking at the garments we are supposed to wear, as it were, as the chosen of God. We have to spend one more sermon on this concept before we pass to the third issue Paul speaks of, which has to do with the attitude we adopt. Today, I'll cover on vv. 13 and 14. Listen, once again, to what the Word says: "As those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved," the apostle writes, "put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity."

You already know where I plan to focus in this sermon--on the concept of forgiveness. As we look at what Paul says about forgiveness, you must understand that he is more interested in the question of why we should practice forgiveness than in the myriad of examples, questions, and opinions that are associated with this topic. Paul is not concerned with addressing every sin the Colossians might name as they consider his words; he's concerned with imparting to them, as the chosen of God, the "why" of forgiveness. Why should Christians be forgiving people? This is a case where the principle has to be grasped before we worry about the application. Forgiveness has as much to do with your understanding of your salvation as it does anything else.

Paul makes the transition to forgiveness with the phrase "bearing with one another." This comes after that list of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. The word translated "bearing with" (anechomai) means "to sustain, to endure." The same form of the term is used in Eph. 4:2 ("with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing forbearance to one another in love..."). Other forms of this word are found numerous times in the New Testament. For example, Jesus used this term to describe His patience with unbelieving Jews (cf. Matt. 17:17 "And Jesus answered and said, ‘You unbelieving and perverted generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I put up with you? ...'"). In another place, Paul uses this term to describe his reaction to persecution (cf. 1 Cor. 4:12 "and we toil, working with our own hands; when we are reviled, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure...").

The word refers to carrying on in spite of obstacles or opposition. It describes one who is determined to move ahead with duty or calling before or even without removing all causes of disturbance. Jesus continued His work, Paul continued his ministry. So, returning to v. 13, Paul tells us to apply this philosophy to one another meaning that, if necessary, we "endure" the one who is causing us difficulty. I take this to mean that there are times when we simply live with circumstances that cannot be changed. We press on.

This is a perfect way to introduce the concept of forgiveness because forgiveness is bearing with others and it is holding them up and it is enduring what others say and do. We are, Paul writes, to practice putting up with one another--that's a simple way to explain what he means. And, as I noted, that's a good way to get us thinking about forgiveness.

Paul's doctrine of forgiveness is found in those words: "forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you." Right away, you see that this passage focuses on the offended party, not on the offender. It answers the question of what I am to do when sinned against or wronged in some other manner. When dealing with a wrong done to us we are often quick to focus on the offender and decide what he should do to make peace or what she should do in order to make amends. We are not as quick to consider what our response is supposed to be. This passage, however, does not deal with repentance because, as I said, it is concerned with the offended party's response, not the offender's response. These few words from Paul stand as apostolic instruction to us as we seek to live the Christian life and please the Lord in our reactions to wrongs, real or perceived. You cannot control the behavior of another, but you can control your own behavior; and that is what Paul is concentrating on here as he speaks about dealing with offenses.

Let me give you something to think about: forgiveness is more important to the one sinned against than to the one who commits the sin. This might sound odd to you, but this passage will bear out the truth of what I've just stated.

The word rendered "forgiving [each other]" (charizomai) means "to forgive, give freely or graciously, grant, to do a favor, to show one's self gracious, to pardon." Paul uses the same form of this term in Eph. 4:32 ("And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."). He connects our treatment of one another to God's treatment of us in Christ. Moreover, throughout the New Testament, various other forms of this word are used to describe acts of grace, acts where something is done or given apart from expectation of repayment or the recipient's worthiness.

For example, Jesus "granted" (charizomai) sight to the blind (Luke 7:21). In Luke 7:42, Jesus uses this word in a short parable in which debts were forgiven when two debtors had no ability to pay. The Savior says that the moneylender "graciously forgave them both." The point of the story is that the debt was genuine. The men truly owed the moneylender. He had a legitimate claim against them. But, he "graciously forgave them both." The moneylender chose to forgive what was justly owed to him and Jesus uses this illustration to instruct His disciples regarding their own behavior.

This illustrates an important principle about forgiveness and it helps explain Paul's words in the passage we are considering: Forgiving involves not what is deserved, not what is just, but what is granted freely. Forgiveness removes the debt or the offense even when the debtor or offender has not paid. Believers, according to Paul, are bound to forgive each other. This means that we are supposed to be ready, willing and eager to grant pardon when we are offended. Remember that Paul's concern in this passage is on the response of the one sinned against or the one wronged, not on what should happen to the offender or what should be demanded of him and so forth. The emphasis here is not on what is "owed" to us, but on what we are willing to give to another.

A third word that I want to define for you is "complaint" (momphe). This term means "quarrel, grievance, complaint, blame." This noun comes from an older word (memphomai) that means "to blame" or "to find fault with." Here is where we really need to pay attention. The use of this term indicates that Paul has in mind just about anything that could be considered an offense; or, to put it another way, just about anything that might truly offend us, because it is genuine sin, or irritate us or just plain "bugs" us. This word covers more than true sin. It covers anything for which we might complain in regard to the actions of another. And folks, I've just described a good portion of most of our lives! We each could write a volume about what other people have done or are doing to us--we are sinned against sometimes, yes, but most of our book would be filled with things we just don't like in the conduct of other people.

The parameters are broad, indeed. The apostle doesn't tell us to forgive only some and not others; nor does he tell us to forgive little but not much; nor does he tell us to forgive the minor sins, but refuse to forgive the painful ones.

Paul understood human nature. He understood that we take offense at a lot more than true sin. If we got miffed only when someone actually sinned against us, that is, actually broke the clear teaching of God's Word, then we would have far fewer episodes of interpersonal conflict. People do sin against others and sometimes they sin in a grievous manner, but Paul knew that the basis for conflicts in a friendship, a marriage, a family, or a church is not always genuine sin--that is, the basis is not always a true violation of the Word of God--but often is a look, a word, a piece of gossip, or even something we imagine and don't even know for sure if it's true. So he uses a very broad word when he teaches the Colossians about forgiveness. Forgiveness is not only about true sin committed against us; it also is about how we handle anything that anyone does that bothers us.

What, then, is the duty of the one who has been offended in a relationship? Paul says plainly: bear with one another, forgive each other--regardless of the nature of the offense, that is, regardless of whether it is a true sin (i.e., a violation of God's Word) or simply something that someone does that upsets you.

All of what Paul says rests on a particular truth, which he provides now at the end of v. 13. He provides the supreme illustration of forgiveness when he refers to our relationship with the Lord. It is evident that the last phrase--just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you--serves as the model for our relationships when difficulties arise. When it comes to interpersonal conflicts, we are to imitate the Lord. When it comes to sins against us, we are to imitate the Lord. This is what is implied when Paul speaks of "bearing with one another" and "forgiving each other." He is talking about sins, wrongdoings, trespasses and violations of God's Word, which are committed by one person against another. In fact, as I pointed out, he goes further and says "whoever has a complaint against anyone" (not necessarily involving sin) is also bound to follow the example of the Lord who forgave us.

Whatever the offense, Paul says we are to endure and forgive "just as the Lord forgave [us], so also should [we]." I ask, therefore: What exactly does it mean to forgive others as the Lord forgave us? The answer to this question can be gleaned partly from the vocabulary Paul uses, which I defined and discussed above. But there is more to the answer than this. To answer this question fully and understand what the apostle is requiring of us, we need to review what God did for us in our salvation. Specifically, what can we say about the sins (our sins) that stood between us and God? We are told to follow the pattern seen in how the Lord handled our sin.

I'll use myself as an example. As a Christian, I have been forgiven of my sins. I believe that Jesus Christ paid for all my sins. I believe that God does not count my sins against me because of Christ's atonement. I believe that I will not be held accountable for my sins on the day of judgment because Christ became my Substitute. All this is true and I know it's true because the Bible teaches it. But what about that act of forgiveness? What can I say about how God forgave me, about the circumstances of my forgiveness or about the implications of my forgiveness? Remember, God's forgiveness of me in Christ is supposed to be my model for forgiving others.

Here is what I can say about God's forgiveness of me in Christ: I was forgiven before I asked, I was forgiven before I knew I was a sinner and I was forgiven before I even began to contemplate the extent of my sin. Consider these facts regarding my forgiveness. This is the pattern I'm supposed to imitate in my relationships with others in this life. Further, in this matter of God's forgiveness in Christ, I have to say that God has never asked me to recount all of my sins to Him. Even if He did, and I knew that at the end of that exercise, He would forgive them all, I could not do it because I am not aware of all my sin.

All this is true because my sins were paid for by Another. All the sins I'm aware of and all the sins I'm not aware of--regardless of their extent and degree of offensiveness to a holy God--have been paid for. God isn't making a special allowance for me. He isn't "looking the other way" and letting me get by with sin. Christ paid for my sins--all my sins--so God can grant me forgiveness. This, as Paul teaches, is the basis for our forgiveness of others. And remember, he is not at this point concerned with the one causing us to have a "complaint," he is strictly focusing on how we respond.

The benefit of this passage can be missed in part if we get side-tracked by a lot of "what ifs" or by other aspects of sinning and forgiving that Paul is not covering. Paul is teaching us that forgiveness rests more with the one offended than with the offender. The offender may never know or acknowledge what he did, so if the one sinned against or if the one with the complaint has to wait for the offender to see his wrong and come to ask forgiveness for it, peace might never be found.

Can I forgive another person even if they have not asked for forgiveness? Yes, I can do this because God forgave me before I asked (Eph. 1:4). This doesn't mean that it is wrong for an offender to ask for forgiveness, it only means that forgiveness can be granted in the absence of such a request. And for this truth, we should be thankful. Otherwise, we would never be free of the burden created by sin carried out against us until the offender admitted his wrong and sought us out.

Can I forgive another person even if they don't know they've sinned against me? Ideally, we are to follow Matt. 18 when someone sins against us. But there are times when that might be impossible or times when the offender refuses to cooperate. We can be thankful, therefore, that our peace of mind, once again, doesn't rest with his response, but with ours. I can forgive even if the offender is unaware because God forgave me before I had any awareness of my lost and condemned state (cf. Rom. 5). I was condemned from conception, yet I was chosen in Christ before the foundation of the world!

Can I forgive another person even if they do not understand the extent of their sin? Some people really struggle with this. They believe that forgiveness must be withheld until the offender is fully aware of every last aspect of his misdeed. But in answer to the question, yes, I can do this because God forgave me before I understood the extent of my sin. In fact, I do not now understand the extent of my sin and I never will.

Having made this comparison, what must we conclude? Can we conclude that we are free to require more from those who have sinned against us than God required from us? Are we free to withhold forgiveness when it is needed (asked for or not)? The answer to these questions is obvious and this is the point being made by Paul in his letter to the Colossians. We are not allowed to set up requirements or conditions that go beyond the pattern we have put before us by God Himself. The Christian who is slow to forgive is not imitating God.

Let me emphasize a few things at this point: Nothing I've said negates counseling or exhorting the offender. Nothing I've said negates calling for repentance. What I've said, and what I think Paul is teaching, is that forgiveness can be granted regardless of what else happens or does not happen. He is concentrating on the offended party in this passage, not on the offender. Forgiveness allows me to be free of the weight of the offenses committed against me. I don't have to carry those trespasses until they are "made right." I can forgive those sins and lay aside the burden of having been wronged and I can do it before bitterness springs up in my soul.

God has given us a wonderful gift in this act called forgiveness. Forgiveness is the only thing that allows us to carry on in life when we have been wronged. It is that which allows us to maintain a relationship even when another person has done harm to that relationship. Forgiveness is the remedy for offenses committed by one person against another. Forgiveness emphasizes the essential element of grace. It is by grace that God accepts Christ's payment for our sin and forgives us. It is by grace that we, too, handle our "complaints" against others, regardless of the nature of those complaints.

I realize that this is a huge challenge to most of us. But when you consider the misery caused when one man sins against another or the burden created when someone does something unkind to another, then learning to follow this pattern Paul presents seems like a worthwhile pursuit to me.

Notice how Paul concludes these remarks about the "garments" we are supposed to wear: "Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity." (v. 15) That's what it's all about--love--imitating the love we've been shown as the chosen of God. As the Bible teaches in many places, it is in our relationships with others that we demonstrate the maturity of our faith. What Paul has described is mature Christianity, the kind that is futile ground for an abundance of spiritual fruit.

Application

This topic of forgiveness hits us where we live, as the saying goes. How we respond to offenses--both those that are genuine sin and those that are, in reality, merely annoyances--is of crucial importance. I say this because the manner in which we conduct ourselves in this matter is going to determine the degree of peace we experience. If I'm a person who hangs onto wrongs committed against me, then I'm going to be unhappy much of the time because the simple truth is that those who offend me are often not going to cooperate in a resolution as I would like and may, in fact, be unaware that they have done anything wrong.

The sad truth is that we are much more willing to hold onto an offense and dwell on the wrong done to us than we are to do what Paul teaches. But what he teaches is our duty as those chosen of God. We cannot refuse to forgiven and forgive quickly. We cannot set standards other than what we find in the Word. We cannot demand more than what God demands. Simply put, we must imitate the Lord in our responses to offenses.

I want you to think of the various relationships in your life. I want you to think of all those things that have been done to you that you considered offensive. I want you to think of that incident you may be carrying with you this morning. And then I want to ask you: What do you think God wants you to do? What does this passage teach you? And if we go beyond true sins committed against you, what do you think God wants you to do in regard to those things others do that just annoy you? Are you supposed to hang onto those things?

Remember, this passage is about you, not about the offender. Scripture has plenty to say about the offender's duty, but Paul is concerned with how I react when I am wrong or when I am bothered by someone's conduct. Like so many other things in the Christian life, his teaching requires me to look at self instead of another. I have to start with my reaction. And I'm told one simple truth: I am to forgive as I've been forgiven. Husbands and wives, think on that. Parents, think on that. Christian, whatever your station in life, think on that. What is your record in this matter of forgiving offenses? What is your pattern when it comes to reacting to those things other people do that you simply don't like? There is peace and freedom and rest in what Paul teaches. It only remains for you to do what the Word says.

Let's pray ...

Conclusion

Of all the truths brought before us when we receive this sacraments, forgiveness is one of the most obvious. Here we are reminded that we were the offenders, not against another sinner, but against a holy God. And He forgave us on the basis of a supreme priced paid for our sin--even the death of His own Son. How can we be vengeful people in light of what has been done for us? How can we hold grudges or count our satisfaction of such importance that we leave unrepaired a relationship in which someone has done something that bothered us? The forgiveness we have received in Christ should so humble us that we are not just willing, but eager to extend forgiveness to others.

The Scripture says:

While they were eating, Jesus took some bread, and after a blessing, He broke it and gave it to the disciples, and said, "Take, eat; this is My body." And when He had taken a cup and given thanks, He gave it to them, saying, "Drink from it, all of you; for this is My blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for forgiveness of sins. (Matt. 26:26-28)