The Book of Proverbs

Study #6: The Tongue

August 1, 2004

Jim Bordwine, ThD

Introduction

No topic in the book of Proverbs more clearly illustrates the way of God and the way of fallen man, or the way of righteousness and the way of wickedness, better than the subject of the tongue. The Proverbs address the incredibly diverse effects that can be accomplished with our speech. The tongue can bring life or it can bring death. It can cheer or it can bring despair. It can guide or it can mislead. It can bless or it can curse. It can honor God or it can be the instrument of blasphemy. Due to the tongue's potential for both good and evil, it receives some of Solomon's most precise analysis.

You don't have to live too many years before you learn first-hand about the potential for good and the potential for harm that resides in our tongues. Generally speaking, we are so very careless with our words. Some of our most bitter memories are not of being struck by another person, but of being spoken to or spoken of harshly by another person. Most of us can recall episodes when we felt crushed by the words of another, or when we felt the keenest sense of betrayal due to words spoken by another. Set against these experiences are those times when someone has spoken kindly to us or about us and that has brought us satisfaction. And we all have known the comfort that comes from words of encouragement and support during a time of trial.

Our words are the most effective weapon we possess for destruction and the most effective means we possess for building up. The difference between these two extremes is the words we choose to utter and the manner in which we choose to utter them.

I also want to mention that of particular concern to Solomon is truthfulness in the use of words. Not only does he teach concerning the power of words to bring misery or bring comfort, he also writes about the harm achieved through false words as opposed to the good achieved through truthful words. Therefore, as we will see, much of what Solomon has to say about the tongue is in the context of telling the truth versus telling lies.

Our Memory Verse

When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable,

but he who restrains his lips is wise.

(Pro. 10:19)

This is such an interesting verse. It is a verse that serves as one of the foundational principles when it comes to understanding the Biblical doctrine of language, in general, and the use of the tongue, in particular. I say this is an interesting verse because Solomon doesn't say what we might expect him to say. He doesn't say “when there are many bad or hurtful or hasty or negative words, transgression is unavoidable, he simply writes that when there are “many words,” transgression is unavoidable. This should tell us something about communication immediately; it should tell us that much talk tends to result in a negative outcome. Our words, when they are prolonged, tend to degenerate in character and that means that transgression is always a potential product. We are sinners, let's remember, and our depravity most quickly manifests itself, I believe, in our words. So, as Solomon warns, if we speak many words, we run the risk of causing problems.

I like the way the NKJV translates this verse: “In the multitude of words sin is not lacking…” Because of our fallen natures, if we speak a lot, we are going to sin. This is a simple formula that Solomon sets before us. Consequently, the second half of this verse makes complete sense: “but he who restrains his lips is wise.” If, because of our sin natures, much talk is likely to produce transgression, then the man who wants to please the LORD and not cause offense with his words will be the man who governs his mouth. Much talk leads to sin, so less talk eliminates the opportunity for sin.

Let's consider some of the vocabulary Solomon uses in this verse. First, there is the word “transgression” (pesha). What exactly does Solomon mean when he says that when there are many words, transgression is unavoidable? This term is a basic Hebrew word meaning “trespass” or “sin.” There's no mystery here. Solomon says that many words lead to sin-that is, the violation of some aspect of God's Word. In fact, you'll notice, he says that sin is unavoidable when we speak many words. The phrase Solomon uses refers to something that cannot be stopped, something that must occur given a set of circumstances. In this case, sin is that which cannot be stopped or that which must occur when this circumstance-many words-is present.

Using antithetical parallelism, Solomon sets before us the opposite of speaking many words: “but he who restrains his lips is wise.” Here, the word translated “restrains” (chasak), of course, is significant. This term means “to spare, to keep back, to withhold, to hinder, to hold in check.” This notion is clear enough. This word describes an act of self-discipline or self-control by which the words that are spoken are few and do not, therefore, lead to transgression. At this point, we might think back to our study on self-control. I noted in that portion of our examination of this book that self-control was not only about keeping our tempers; it is also about the exercise of restraining oneself in ways that may not be directly related to anger.

Solomon teaches that the preferred alternative to the use of many words is the use of controlled speech. If speech is controlled, and we're talking about quantity as well as quality, we are less likely to commit a sin with our tongue. Therefore, since avoiding anything that violates God's will is a chief mark of a wise man, Solomon pronounces that man who governs his mouth as “wise.”

This is, once again, a foundational verse because it deals with words, in general, not just “bad” words or inflammatory words. This text warns us that if we talk too much, we are going to sin-and I would point out that Solomon says nothing about our motives or our sense of justification for speaking many words. He flatly warns us that if we talk a lot, we are going to sin and he says that this outcome is unavoidable. Only a fool will hear what Solomon says in this verse and think he is immune or think he can still talk much about people or circumstances without falling into sin. It cannot be done. If we take this verse seriously, we should be people of measured speech; we should be people who are known for their reserve when it comes to talking.

Additional Verses

Solomon's comments on the tongue or on our words are, as I've already indicated, straightforward. His favorite form of parallelism when treating this subject is antithetical parallelism. Solomon brings out the vivid contrast between good words and bad words, between truthful words and false words, between helpful words and harmful words with this simple device of Hebrew poetry.

Truthful lips will be established forever,

but a lying tongue is only for a moment.

(Pro. 12:19)

This verse sets in opposition-and in an unmistakable way-the two extremes that may be exhibited in our communications. Solomon speaks first of “truthful lips” and then of “a lying tongue.” Here are two completely contradictory characteristics for our words-true words or false words. Solomon first declares that true words, true communications “will be established forever.” The word “truthful” (emeth) means “firm, sure, reliable.” So Solomon is describing words that correspond to reality, words that convey what is, words that do not deceive or mislead or fail to reveal. These kinds of words, he asserts, “will be established forever,” meaning that truthful words are not in danger of destruction or being shown to be contrary to fact. Truthful words last forever because truth itself does not change.

In contrast to truth words are words that are not truthful-that is, words that do not rightly reflect reality or rightly represent a circumstance or rightly line up with what God has revealed. Solomon uses the phrase “a lying tongue.” The word he uses here (sheqer) means such things as “deception, fraud, to swear falsely, to be a liar.” As the word “truthful” is rich in meaning, so is the words rendered “lying.” Both words speak of intention and disposition. While true words are never in danger of being revoked, false words, lying words are “only for a moment,” Solomon writes. That which is false cannot endure because God has created this existence in such a way that only truth perseveres. This isn't to say that lying lips don't cause pain and destruction-in fact they certainly do precisely because they are contrary to truth and righteousness. This verse also tells us something fundamental about the potential found in the tongue.

Lying lips are an abomination to the LORD,

but those who deal faithfully are His delight.

(Pro. 12:22)

I include this verse because it supplements what we just learned from Pro. 12:19. Notice that Solomon speaks strongly about “lying lips” in this verse. He calls them “an abomination to the LORD.” The word “abomination” (towebah) means “that which is disgusting in the sight of God, that which is ritually or ethically impure.” When this word is used, it refers to those things that are most abhorrent to the LORD. Anything thus labeled should be found repulsive to anyone who desires to honor God. Therefore, we should find lying lips absolutely revolting. We should not let ourselves get to the point where we are insensitive to lies. If lies are an abomination to the LORD, then they should be an abomination to us.

By the way, the final measure of words is not how convincingly they are spoken or who acceptable they sound. The final measure of words is their relation to truth. Successful liars are successful because they are convincing. That's why, of course, the Scripture warns us to seek verification of what we hear when we are dealing with serious matters.

The opposite of what is an abomination to the LORD is that which is His delight-and that is “those who deal faithfully.” Solomon sets in opposition to the liar the man who is honest, the man who does not deceive. The word “delight” (ratsown) means “favor, pleasure, acceptance.” Truth in words and truth in all of our activities pleases the LORD because it is His nature to be truthful in all things and at all times.

A soothing tongue is a tree of life,

but perversion in it crushes the spirit.

(Pro. 15:4)

This verse speaks of how our words can bring life or death, health or sickness. The power of our words is really illustrated in this verse. Solomon refers to “a soothing tongue.” He uses a term (marpe) that means “health, healing.” But what is a “healing tongue” or a tongue characterized by “health”? A “soothing tongue” is one used to speak words that enhance life, words that build up, words that bring joy and security and other desirable elements into a person's life. Again, this verse instructs us regarding the incredible power found in our words. We have been created to respond to words-this is how God made us. We can be made to feel glad, secure, content, hopeful-and all through nothing more than syllables spoken by the tongue. God made us to be sensitive and responsive to what we hear. Our countenance can be dramatically affected by nothing more than the language another person speaks to us.

On the other hand, Solomon continues, “perversion” in the tongue “crushes the spirit.” Here is the opposite effect. The word translated “perversion” (celeph) means “crookedness.” “Crooked” speech is speech that is designed to harm or mislead or tear down. This kind of speech “crushes the spirit,” Solomon writes. The term “crushes” means “to be broken, to be fractured.”

Just as good words can bring us gladness and make our lives more enjoyable, so perverted words, words that are spoken to hurt, can bring us much misery. In fact, based solely on words that are spoken to us or about us, we can be left in a state of misery that is no less real or painful than what would be the case if we were jumped and beaten. This is the power of words.

Here we have two outcomes to our words-we may speak in such a way as to enhance life and bring joy, or we can speak in such a way as to bring misery and engage in what amounts to a form of murder. And both of these end results are achieved without raising a hand. We can bring life to someone or we can take away their life simply by the manner in which we communicate. This truth is illustrated before us often as we see the reaction of our wives or our children to our words. Men, we can bring a smile to our wife's face in an instant with a kind word; and we can cause her countenance to fall by a harsh word. And the same is true in the relationship between parents and children. We simply don't realize how influential speech is; and so at the heart of just about every broken relationship is language.

A worthless man digs up evil,

while his words are like scorching fire.

(Pro. 16:27)

This verse ties in nicely with the previous one. Here Solomon concentrates on the harm that can be done by words. He describes a “worthless man” as one who “digs up evil.” The “worthless man” is the man who is good for nothing, who is simply wicked (that's the meaning of the term used here). This kind of man searches for evil, Solomon implies. The idea here is that this man creates evil so that he can use it against others. Notice what Solomon says about the words of such a man: “his words are like a scorching fire.” How does the wicked man do the most damage? He doesn't physically attack you, he uses words against you and his words are as devastating as a raging fire that sweeps across the landscape. Everything in its path is destroyed; and so it is with this kind of man, this kind of man who lives to stir up trouble and who does not rest unless he is bring evil against someone. And Solomon warns us that this man's primary weapon is what comes out of his mouth. He will accomplish more destruction by what he says than by any other means. Again we are warned of the incredible power-in this case, destructive power-of the tongue.

The remainder of verses on the list I supplied to the congregation can be studied at your convenience:

The one who guards his mouth preserves his life; the one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin. (Pro. 13:3)

The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable, but the mouth of fools spouts folly. (Pro. 15:2)

A perverse man spreads strife, and a slanderer separates intimate friends. (Pro. 16:28)

An evildoer listens to wicked lips; a liar pays attention to a destructive tongue. (Pro. 17:4)

The words of a whisperer are like dainty morsels, and they go down into the innermost parts of the body. (Pro. 18:8)

Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances. (Pro. 25:11)

Practical Responses

In terms of a practical response to this study I would say be aware of the tremendous power of language. We need to give attention to this aspect of how God has made us. We are made in such a way that words have deep and lasting impacts on us. We cannot control how others use words, but we can control how we use them. And in recognizing the power of the tongue, determine that you will use it in a God-honoring manner. Discipline yourself to speak responsibly and in a controlled fashion. Make it your goal to build up others by your words-not through false flattery, but through words that edify.

And remember that God delights in truthful words. Watch yourself so that you always speak the truth. Not only should you be concerned that you always speak the truth, but based on what we've learned, we should be equally concerned about being with others who speak the truth. This means we have to stay away from those who do not control their tongues. There is much that could be said here about idle talk and gossip and lying. Suffice it to say that we are to avoid those who use words loosely, deceptively or destructively.