The Book of Proverbs
Study #18: Contentment
November 14, 2004
Jim Bordwine, ThD
Introduction

Most of us desire lives of contentment. We want to live out our days as productive servants of Christ. We recognize that it is our duty to accept and be thankful for what God provides. Our best days are those marked by genuine satisfaction in what we have and where we are; but such contentment is difficult to attain. There are many obstacles to contentment. There are many aspects of life in this world that push us toward dissatisfaction rather than contentment. As he speaks to several key concerns, Solomon teaches us what characteristics are necessary to live a generally pleasing existence.

Our Memory Verse

The fear of the LORD leads to life,

so that one may sleep satisfied, untouched by evil.

(Pro. 19:23)

I begin with this verse because it speaks to the one essential truth concerning contentment--that is a proper relationship with God. This is where contentment begins. Our reaction to and interaction with everything else in life hinges on our walk with God. In the book of Proverbs, the fear of the LORD is Solomon’s phrase for living before Him as He commands and according to what is implied by the distinction between the Creator and the creature. We cannot be living contrary to what God requires and think we’re going to be happy people--and I’m referring to those who are born again, those who confess Christ as Savior.

Here, Solomon says that the fear of the LORD "leads to life," which is a way of saying what I just said, namely, that walking rightly before God is the beginning point for all of life or life in a full and satisfying expression. Solomon speaks in general terms, such as when he says that fear of the LORD leads to life; and another example of speaking in general terms is found in the second phrase: "so that one may sleep satisfied, untouched by evil." We all know that no matter how holy our walk with God, we will experience turmoil. Solomon is doing what he often does; he is speaking in hyperbole in order to magnify a particular truth. The truth, in this case, is that fear of the LORD produces a generally peaceful existence.

This tells us, therefore, that in the matter of contentment, we must look first of all at our relationship with God. Are we seeking to live as He commands Are we rendering to Him a life that reflects His mercy and goodness? If that is our general approach to living, then we are going to be generally satisfied. The point is that contentment begins with faithful living before God. You can’t be contented without that because it is such a fundamental matter. As we’re going to see, all that Solomon has to say about contentment or peace in this life is related to knowing and doing what God says. That’s the principle implied in this verse and spelled out in numerous other verses as Solomon speaks of specifics.

Additional verses

My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments;

for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you.

Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck,

write them on the tablet of your heart.

So you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man.

(Pro 3:1-4)

This passage reinforces the principle I just identified, namely, that contentment in this life begins with and depends on living as God commands. Notice what Solomon emphasizes to his son in these verses: his teaching, his commandments. And notice the attention he urges his son to give to these things: do not let them leave you, bind them around your neck, write them on your heart. So, Solomon has instructed his son extensively in the matter of what God has revealed to human beings. The son has been taught how to interpret this world and his place in it. That this is highly important information is indicated by Solomon’s exhortations to remember what has been imparted.

Now, notice also what Solomon promises his son: length of days and years of life and peace, favor and good repute in the sight of God and man. These are, obviously, key ingredients in contentment. A man is satisfied with a long and prosperous life; he knows contentment when he is at peace and when others, including God, think well of him. But for Solomon’s son, it all hinges on remember and practicing what he was taught. If he lived according to his father’s instructions, then he would be blessed and much of that blessing would take the form of contentment. Solomon describes a generally enjoyable existence.

Right away, then, we see that contentment and satisfaction in life have little to do with what is possessed and much to do with what is believed. Contentment is, to a degree, a matter of the mind. If in the mind a man is committed to the things of God, that will show up in his conduct and in the manner in which he reacts to circumstances. A man cannot believe wrongly or reject God’s instruction and be at peace with God. And that, too, is one of the key truths we’re seeing--peace with God, walking rightly before God, comes before rest and length of days and favor and good repute. To restate the obvious, therefore, from the Bible’s standpoint, contentment in life centers on our walk with God.

My son, observe the commandment of your father

and do not forsake the teaching of your mother;

bind them continually on your heart; tie them around your neck.

When you walk about, they will guide you;

when you sleep, they will watch over you;

and when you awake, they will talk to you.

(Pro. 6:20-22)

I include this passage because it expands the statement of the previous one. The same basic exhortation is given by Solomon to his son: observe my commandments, do not forsake your mother’s teaching, be careful to bind them to your heart. What I want to concentrate on briefly is the promise attached.

Solomon is describing a life in which his son is careful to live according to his training, a life in which he embraces the principles passed down from his father (and those, of course, would be expressions of God’s law in its various applications). This is a life lived in the fear of the LORD, as was mentioned earlier. Solomon says that those commandments and principles will provide his son with guidance and security. He uses images of receiving direction when walking, receiving protection when sleeping, and receiving instruction as a day unfolds. Solomon describes a life saturated with wisdom. His son will make few missteps if he is being guided by God’s word; his son will sleep peacefully if he has submitted to God’s word; his son will have wise answers daily if he listens to God’s word.

If this is the character of the life lived, then this is a life of contentment. Discontentment arises from a lack of knowledge and a lack of submission. But Solomon speaks of a life in which knowledge and submission are key characteristics, and both relate to the manner in which his son chooses to respond to what he has been taught. Once again, then, I’ll point out that contentment or peace in this life rests more on our relationship to God and his word than other things.

He who despises his neighbor sins,

but happy is he who is gracious to the poor.

(Pro. 14:21)

This is an interesting verse in light of our topic. The word translated "despises" refers to contempt. Solomon pictures a man who has no regard for his neighbor and, in fact, holds a hateful attitude toward him. That clearly is sin. But then notice the second kind of man described: "happy is he who is gracious to the poor." This introduces us to another aspect of contentment. It has fundamentally to do with living as God commands, but here is a specific application of living as God commands.

The word translated "gracious" means "to show mercy or pity." This second man demonstrates the opposite attitude compared to the first man. This man cares for the needy, as God would have him do. And Solomon says that this man is "happy." There is a reference to contentment or satisfaction. This word refers to a state of being pleased. What produces this state of satisfaction? It is being kind to the poor. Directing attention away from self and toward others is one ingredient in contentment. The man who always focuses on himself is going to find plenty to complain about--he’s not happy in this area or that area. But the man who spends some of his time focusing on others, especially those in need, eliminates the potential for dissatisfaction.

Once again we see that happiness or contentment is not gained according to the formula of the fallen world. And what is also true is the fact that contentment is not out of the reach of anyone, therefore. Contentment doesn’t depend on possession of things or influence, it depends on being right with God and treating others according to His instructions.

All the days of the afflicted are bad,

but a cheerful heart has a continual feast.

(Pro. 15:15)

This verse is important because it tells us that contentment is not confined to the one who is gracious to the poor and it is not confined to one who does some activity. Here, Solomon speaks of the state of the heart and the influence that has on attitude. He speaks first of "the afflicted." That word "afflicted" means "poor, needy, humble." It describes those who live hard lives, those who are constantly in need of life’s essentials and those who dwell in harsh circumstances. For them, life is hard.

But Solomon also speaks of those who, regardless of external circumstances, have a "cheerful heart." The word "cheerful" means "agreeable, pleasant." So this is a person whose disposition is not controlled by outward circumstances but by a determination to be pleasant. Solomon pictures such a person as have "a continual feast." Obviously, he means that this person’s attitude and perspective are not ruled by circumstances, but are grounded in what this person has decided to be, as a general rule. Contentment for this person is not derived from circumstances, but from an act of the will.

Do not fret because of evildoers or be envious of the wicked;

for there will be no future for the evil man; the lamp of the wicked will be put out.

(Pro. 24:19, 20)

I have only a few words to offer for this verse, but I include it because it speaks to one primary sources of discontentment for many Christians and that is the apparent ease with which the wicked live. And the actions of the wicked can also produce unrest in us or cause us anxiety. Solomon tells us not to allow the state of evildoers and wicked men to upset us. The end of such men is not what they suspect. While they prosper temporarily, the end of their existence is determined. Since the people of God know this, they cannot legitimately have their perspectives determined by that which they know is not permanent. Instead, they must rely on what God has said about His justice and judgment.

Like one who takes a dog by the ears is he who passes by

and meddles with strife not belonging to him.

(Pro. 26:17)

This is a great proverb to remember when it comes to seeking contentment. Solomon gives us one of the keys to a peaceful existence--mind your own business. That’s what this verse is saying. If you want to get caught up in controversy and have turmoil in your life, then get involved in a dispute that has nothing to do with you. You will not please everyone and, most likely, you will end up being attacked by both sides if you hang around long enough. The inevitable outcome is one of conflict. This is made clear by the image used by Solomon. Have you ever grabbed a dog by its ears? If you do that and hang on, you will be bitten on one arm and then the next. You may exert some influence over the dog, but he’s going to leave a few marks on you. It would be better not to grab a dog by its ears, just as it would be better not to interject yourself into strife that has no bearing on you.

The remainder of the verses I picked for this study may be examined at your convenience.

(in context) Proverbs 3:19 The LORD by wisdom founded the earth, By understanding He established the heavens. 20 By His knowledge the deeps were broken up And the skies drip with dew. 21 My son, let them not vanish from your sight; Keep sound wisdom and discretion, 22 So they will be life to your soul And adornment to your neck. 23 Then you will walk in your way securely And your foot will not stumble. 24 When you lie down, you will not be afraid; When you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.

Proverbs 12:14 A man will be satisfied with good by the fruit of his words, And the deeds of a man’s hands will return to him.

Proverbs 12:20 Deceit is in the heart of those who devise evil, But counselors of peace have joy.

Proverbs 16:7 When a man’s ways are pleasing to the LORD, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him. 8 Better is a little with righteousness Than great income with injustice.

Proverbs 17:1 Better is a dry morsel and quietness with it Than a house full of feasting with strife.

Proverbs 17:22 A joyful heart is good medicine, But a broken spirit dries up the bones.

Proverbs 26:20 For lack of wood the fire goes out, And where there is no whisperer, contention quiets down.

Practical Responses

As a response to these passages, I would say we need to remember two things. First, contentment in this life begins and rests in our relationship with God in Christ. The closer we are to Him, the less we will be affected by the uncertainties of this world. Prayer, spending time in God’s word, spending time with God’s people--these are activities that draw us closer to Him and, consequently, produce stability in us that prevents us from becoming dissatisfied with life.

Second, following our relationship with God is our commitment to keep His word--not just read it, but keep it. Solomon made this point repeatedly. God’s word governs not only our actions, but our thinking and it is our thinking that must be mastered in order to control contentment. What we think really does determine to a large extent whether we feel satisfied or dissatisfied with life. That’s because our thinking is our analysis of circumstances and if we aren’t analyzing correctly, we aren’t going to arrive at the proper conclusions--and improper conclusions cause unrest.